I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
