I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize