bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
