i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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