I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Its about making memories worth repressing
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize