My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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