I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you still have your period?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i out mim tonsoeep
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