So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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