I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
