thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
