i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
handjob tips. give me some.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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