I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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