for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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