you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
