Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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