my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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