this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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