he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
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I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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