Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
