If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
