Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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