you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
