okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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