I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize