sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
