Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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