Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
