God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
