it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
