5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
