She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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