I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
