there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
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