ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
