Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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