dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
