drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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