I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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