I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
