Yo dont text me then not text me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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