The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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