A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
