A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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