i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
