he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
