college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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