That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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