im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
