I want to have your abortion
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
