i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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