i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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