I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
