Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
