How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
