I'm really into asian looking animals
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
