I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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