This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
