I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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