I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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