I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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