Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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