Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
