i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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