I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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