he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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