if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
