So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
