got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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