i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
